Lead on, oh Kinky Turtle

alexandraerin:

A friend of mine whose financial security took a serious hit when they ended an abusive relationship is in a real bind. If you follow icecreamsocialistslut, you already know the basics. Their living situation is tenuous, they have kids, they owe back rent to the tune of several hundred dollars.

I don’t have anything to sell and I can’t be pledging to write for donations when I have my own paying work that needs finishing, but I do have the world’s most useless mutant superpower.

So, internet: if the get $250 in the next five days, I will do the notorious cinnamon challenge and post a video of it online. If they get $500 in the next five days, I will eat an entire tube of saltine crackers without taking a drink before I do the cinnamon challenge. If they get the full $700 being sought on the Chipin, I will eat a dry bowl of Cap’n Crunch (avec les berries cruncheuse, s’il vous plait) before I eat the saltine crackers. If they get a $1,000, I will do the cinnamon challenge with fresh nutmeg and hallucinate that William S. Burroughs is trying to harvest my cat’s brainwaves through the telephone. All on cam. One continuous take, no interruption and no drinking.

I have no idea if seeing this curiosity would be worth anything to anyone, but I have to make the offer. Nobody has to send me any proof of donation, I don’t care if it’s all from people who want to see me swallowing a succession of very dry things or only some is, the only thing that matters is that they get the money. This is a person who will absolutely go to bat for you if you need it, so if you’ve got a couple of bucks or five bucks or whatever, it’s for a good cause and if enough people do the same you just might get a show out of it.

Here’s the chipin.

(P.S.: If you don’t have any money to throw into the hat, please reblog… if enough people see it, it’s more likely to happen.)